Losing Joe – My Son Found A Way For Me To See Him
Chapter 17
During my first couple of years into this uninvited journey in grief, every place I drove in this city was a constant reminder of Joe. Guys I would see on skateboards, restaurant servers, anything similar to what Joe was all about, I would see him. Even more so at the intersections of main streets specifically by our house, restaurants where he used to work, downtown Bakersfield bars where he would meet up with friends. Everywhere I go, there he was!
In the summer of 2016, Joe and his girlfriend moved into a 1-bedroom apartment downtown. Every time I drive by that apartment, I see Joe walking down the stairs. Or, I see him in the atrium area. I went by one day and decided to pull over across the street and park, I wanted to close my eyes and remember what used to be. I must’ve sat in my car for a couple of hours, crying and thinking how much I miss my son, hoping I would wake up from this horrific nightmare and he would be standing at my door asking why I’m parked and crying . But its not a nightmare, unfortunately its my real life. As I started to leave, I saw a young guy riding a skateboard and in a split second, my mind immediately thought of Joe. I have learned to get used to those split seconds, that happen daily.
Even my daughters will see someone who looks like Joe. We were shopping at…
