Losing Joe – An Introduction To My Son’s Love For Life

Chapter 1.

This is my story on LOSING JOE. I know millions of Mothers write about their son who died, but each of our stories is unique because each child is remarkable; a Mothers love amazing. My son was unique, and I would like to introduce him to each person who reads my story. My hope is my readers will come to know and love him too. His name is Joseph Anthony Suarez, and he was born on August 31, 1990, in Bakersfield, California.

Joe was our first-born and only son. His arrival into this world was just as spectacular as it was when he left this living world; an entire room filled up with people who loved him endlessly. We waited five years before we started our family, then along came our first child, our son. Joe changed our lives in ways we didn’t know could be different; he made the sun shine brighter, the stars glowed more, the moon got more significant, the sounds of life became more apparent and louder. He gave us so much joy, we decided to have more children, and three years later, we gave birth to our beautiful daughter Allie, and four years after, then gave birth to another beautiful daughter, Juliana. He adored and loved his younger sisters; they worshipped their big brother as well. He was their best friend, and the three of them had a strong sibling love that will last a lifetime, no matter if he is physically or spiritually here with us. Every day was an “I love you” day. It truly is a beautiful site to see and hear when your children speak the words, “I love you, Sis, or I love you, Brother.” I soon came to learn; Joe would say “I love you” to his close friends too, and now I hear him thru every one of his friends when they say, “I love you, Momma Suarez.” For 27 years, we created incredible and beautiful memories. He made a difference in this world, and the absence of his life is quite evident.

Joe’s life journey existed in such an exuberant and purposeful manner; I don’t think he realized the positive impact he had on so many people. He gave new meaning to the phrase “living in the moment.” For 27 years, we were beyond blessed to have him with us; Joe made a difference in the world and in every life he touched. His personality was hilarious, loving, genuine, humble; he loved celebrations of any kind. He brought laughter and moments of pure happiness to any occasion. He had many extraordinary qualities, far too many to write down, but one of the best was his incredible smile! His smile was contagious; it was a beaming light that illuminated his presence in every way. On your worst day, he could make you feel happy just by talking to him. Joe had that “something special” about him, one of his friends referred his personality to the word “vibe.” He just had it, all of it, and he shared that vibe with everyone who knew him and those who just happened to meet him once or twice. He was the most selfless human being to ever meet in life. Joe never judged anyone and was always that person rooting for the underdog. He had a way of seeing the good in people, no matter what bad they had done. Forgiveness, another strength he always kept close to his heart. He forgave quickly; he didn’t like to prolong an issue with anyone. His outlook on life was to move forward and leave the drama behind him. Don’t look back; he would say, only ahead! Being mad at Joe never lasted long either; all he had to do was smile and say, “I love you, and I’m sorry” (which he genuinely meant), and whatever it was that caused the anger would be long forgotten; he could have you laughing within seconds.

Joe loved being around a lot of people; the more significant the crowd, the better! He was confident (but never arrogant or cocky, just enjoyed being funny about it); and had a massive passion for music, sports, and fashion. Joeb loved football, golf, baseball, basketball, and his love for music was a wide range of diverse types of genres. He enjoyed watching movies (sometimes the same movie he could watch over and over), he would quote phrases from “Zoolander” or “Friday” and many more. He loved watching “Seinfeld” episodes; we could always hear him laughing from any room in the house. That laugh was loud and always caught our attention. His love for family was his priority, but he also had so many friends and would do anything to help or give his time to them should they need anything. He never walked away from his friends either; he genuinely loved those guys he often referred to as his “TRYBE.” Joe lived each day at the moment and loved the simple things in life. He was a Brother, Uncle, Grandson, Godson, Nephew, Cousin, Best Friend; he was so many things to many people. However, first and most importantly, he was our only Son, and we shared him with the world for 27 years.

I could sit here all day and night writing about his remarkable personality and the impact he made in just 27 years; instead, I’m going to share a few quotes from people who wrote to me or posted comments on his social media pages. We all deeply feel his absence in our world, and everything is different now; it’s like the world suddenly became quiet. However, I am 100% convinced that heaven definitely got much louder!

Enjoy getting to know our Joe. He had what somebody called a “VIBE” and is to this day still loved by many. His heart and spirit will live with us forever.

From Brian Burrell (Joe’s Friend)

It’s incredibly difficult for me to put into words the impact that Joe had on me. He was an amazing person, friend, and someone who I always looked up to. Some of my best memories are with Joe and he’ll always have a special place in my heart. When I talk about Joe now I find myself talking less about the fun times and more about the way he would make you feel. Joe loved everyone and everyone loved Joe. You could legit walk into a party and know no-one but Joe, and he’d make you instantly feel at home. He just had a way about him that made him that’s impossible to replicate and so difficult to put into words. He was the most welcoming and friendly person to everyone and comfortable in any setting. He’d always greet me with his huge smile and his tagline of the month (wasssup blood, suhhh dude, sup my G). IDK It was just Joe.

From James Diaz (Joe’s Friend)

May 28th is a day that will sit deep in the hearts of hundreds of people. It isn’t easy to put Joe into a few short memories. Joe was a vibe. He was able to change the atmosphere of a room. Since the first day I met Joe, he looked out for me. The first time I met Joe was at a BHS football game when I was in the 8th grade, and he was a freshman. We both had long hair, and after we were introduced, he started to call me his brother. That same year I shadowed at BHS, and when I was on campus Joe immediately came up and hung out with me. It sounds corny as hell to say, but Joe made me feel cool that day. Three days before Joe passed, my mother in Law saw Joe. She had never met him before. She described him as so happy and full of life. She said he had a distinct laugh and that he kept saying how he introduced Juliana and myself together. Juliana and I didn’t know how we met. But Joe reminded us that it was all because of him.

From Juliana Suarez‎ (Joe’s Sister)

Every day is hard without you, but we don’t have any other choice but to keep living. Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like your gone; it just feels like your away, and we can’t talk to you. But then, when I stop and think about it and realize that you’re gone, it’s still to this day the hardest thing to believe and accept. I sit in your room and look at the pictures we have of you all over and think to myself how much I miss you and how long it’s going to be until I see you again, and I hate it because all I want to do is talk to you and hug you. I try to stay strong and happy for your brother because you never liked seeing me sad, but a part of me will never be the same anymore because a part of my family is gone. I love you to no end.

From Allie Suarez (Joe’s Sister)

We miss you more and more every day; it still feels so unreal. I want to hear your crazy ass laugh again and sit and listen to one of your stories about something wild that just happened to you and then laugh together. Or just the feeling of knowing you’re going to be home when I get there and give me a hug and a big o kiss and when I leave you to do the same and tell me how much you love me. Please continue to give us all the strength that you’ve been giving us to get through this pain because I know for a fact it’s you giving me my strength, that you want me to be okay and keep going, so I’m going to keep going brother for you, I love you forever & always ❤️ .

Joe’s lived his life with love, compassion, non-judgemental, hope, and optimism. I believe his spirit continues to surround us and still changes lives positively. I miss my son every minute of each day, although the pain of him physically not being here will remain in me until my last breath; I will continue to push myself thru the darkest days I will see him again, someday. Joseph, he is my heartbeat, and my heart is still pumping, which tells me he’s always right here with me.



Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store