Chapter 17 During my first couple of years into this uninvited journey in grief, every place I drove in this city was a constant reminder of Joe. Guys I would see on skateboards, restaurant servers, anything similar to what Joe was all about, I would see him. Even more so…

Written on January 26, 2019 — I always knew there was something extraordinary about our son, Joseph Anthony Suarez. He seemed to have the ability to shift the universe somehow, always bringing a bright beautiful light into every room he stepped into. I often told him, “One day you will accomplish greatness in life, my son!”…

Chapter 15 Thinking back to the 1st of October, I knew another milestone was coming, October 13, 2022. We were a week out from my husband’s 59th birthday and I was mentally preparing myself to climb another huge mountain. My birthday had passed, our daughter’s birthdays, our grandkid’s birthdays, and…

Losing Joe — My Bad Dream Became A Nightmare Then It Really Happened To Me Chapter 14 Do nightmares come true? I believe they do because it happened to me. Several years ago, I had a bad dream, one of those screaming, but no sound came out, that type of dream. One of those bad dreams when you keep telling yourself this is not real…

Chapter 13 It’s been a few months since I’ve written anything. My thoughts seem to be frozen. Standing still. No movement. Silent. Dormant. Why? What’s happened? Why has everything that was once racing through my brain suddenly come to a halt? Have I gotten to that stage I promised myself…

Chapter 12 Today is June 20, 2021, and it’s 2:14 am. I’m now wide awake, again. Thinking. Remembering. Missing. Just a few minutes ago, I thought of Joseph’s Celebration of Life, so many people. People I had never met, people who loved my son enough, stopped a day in their…

Chapter 11 Every morning I wake up to the sound of silence. But, his face is the first face I see when my eyes open and whenever my eyes close. Three years have passed by, and still, our home continues to miss the sound of his loud voice. His laughter…

Chapter 10 The first year on Mother's Day, it was blurred pain. I couldn’t feel anything, my mind and body were numb to life. But, in year 2, I realized the truth of my uninvited grief journey; Joe was not coming back. Now, year 3 is here. Mother's Day with…

Chapter 9